Actions Speak Louder than Words

The young woman of 27 can’t sit in silence. She’s watching her aging loved ones as they begin on their journey to the next life. Action is all she knows.  Sitting and watching doesn’t suit her.  Her heart wants to make everything better but this is not something that will get better, or will it?

There is a blessing in caring for a person who’s spirit is ready to move on.  As the young woman delegates herself as caregiver, she is determined to give her loved ones every ounce of living that can be accomplished before they pass.  She couldn’t allow her grandmother to just waste away and give up even though they both knew what was coming.  Her grandmother was as strong as they come so she was a willing adventurer.  The young woman wanted a special girl’s day out so she made arrangements  ahead of time with the nail salon.  They greeted her at the door and made room for her wheelchair.  They treated her like a queen.  On the way to the salon, the young girl and her grandmother drove the country roads through the mountains and listened to country music as the grandmother tried to sing along with a smile on her face.  Although her body was tired she was not quite ready to ascend from it.  It was a day full of treasures for both women.  As each day passed, there were new challenges, but little gems were being passed from one generation to the next on those special days.  Every day became special because every moment counted.  The time spent together for these two souls will be forever ingrained  in the heart of the young woman.  Taking after her grandmother, the young woman forged ahead with strength and courage, determined to give this elder all that she had in her.  And, so, she did.  She gave her a beautiful send off, full of love and light.  A family came together for this special moment in time to celebrate the life of  their loved one.  Once again, although she had left this earthly home, the grandmother brought joy and love to her family as they spent several days together, sharing and laughing and enjoying each other.

Several weeks went by after the passing of her grandmother and she tried to get back into some semblance of a routine in her life.  But life doesn’t wait for a person to be ready for the next thing.  The 27 year old woman was informed that her grandfather was in hospice and did not have much longer to live.  All of the recent memories of caring for her grandmother came barrelling back into her heart.  She felt as though she was shot in the heart with an arrow and was ready to just bleed out.  All the pain, sorrow and grief poured out of her.  She didn’t see it coming and wasn’t sure what to do next.  The grieving for her grandmother had just begun and now she would have to face another devastating loss.  But, action is all she knows.  As the grief washed over her, she waited.  She waited for the correct path to lay itself before her.  She decided to sleep and when she awoke, clarity had shown itself.  The young woman made her way to the airport that day and within 24 hours was at the bedside of her grandfather.  After being the caregiver for her grandmother, she absorbed so much knowledge about the needs of a soul trying to pass.  When she layed eyes on her grandfather, it was apparent to her that his medications were not what she considered to be in the right balance of each other.  She had to at least share her concerns with his caregivers.  If nothing else, she had to fight for his life.  Her observances were acknowledged and the next day he asked for a cup of coffee and a newspaper.

This 27 year old woman, young in years but wise beyond, is an action taker.  You will never see her sit on the sidelines of life.  I sat with her, watching her grief just pour out in dignified tears.  At that moment she was having the realization of just how fragile life is and how we are all aging.  She had a glimpse of the need to take care of our elders.  She wanted to shout to all of her elders how much she loved them and how much she valued their words and contributions to her life.

I sat there as she sobbed into my mother’s bosom.  I sat quietly and observed this woman who is my baby girl.  I am a proud mother and so grateful to have a child with such heart and soul and caring running through her veins.