I read many self help books and I watch a ton of videos about meditation and such.  I try to surround myself with positivity.  It all sounds so Zen, doesn’t it?  Granted, I work hard at soul-searching and self growth, but I’m as human as the next person.  I like laughing at stupid jokes, drinking a glass of wine until I’m silly and acting like a kid.  Being spiritual doesn’t mean being a stick in the mud and it doesn’t mean being a perfect being at all times either.

While I was raising my kids, I was very strict.  Everything was black and white.  I was so rigid and the kids knew their place and they followed suit.  I look back now and wonder , who in the world was that person calling the shots?  I don’t recognize her.   I don’t think I could live with her anymore.  With that being said, I find little shades of that person peek through me at times.  Yes, those stubborn, black and white thoughts are ingrained in me and they rear their ugly heads from time to time.  Thankfully I am able to recognize her when she comes calling.  But, honestly, there are times when she stays around a little longer than I would like to admit.  I get stuck on technicalities such as being in a bad mood because they didn’t put the dishes in the dishwasher, they didn’t replace the empty roll of toilet paper, they left the mess for me to pick up.  Such trivial things to waste my energy on and I know better, yet I still do it.  The big test for me right now is this 8 month old puppy of mine.  I find myself losing patience and reacting in negative ways that only frustrate me and the dog.

There’s a difference now, though.  I am able to at least recognize the creature from within.  I’m not always able to put her away immediately but recognizing her is a result of the time spent in soul-searching and self-growth.  Meditation calms me down and brings me to a peaceful place to springboard off of into my day.  It helps me to realize that I am not that creature from within and that changes the chain of events that follow the crazy hysteria.  All of the spiritual work, self-help, positivity training that I do will not make me a perfect person.  Perfection is unrealistic anyway.  It’s not attainable, it’s a fallacy that we tell ourselves.  I don’t try to be perfect.  I try to be better. I want to be a better version of myself.

I think sometimes we put expectations on people that we call gurus and spiritual teachers.  These people are human just like me.  They are not perfect and don’t claim to be.  (most of them anyway).  They’ve learned a way to find the better version of themselves and are sharing what they have found.  Isn’t that what we call purpose?

I’m never going to be happy, excited, loving all the time.  It’s actually not natural to be.  I’m going to be sad, depressed, angry, lonely at times too.  All of these emotions are what balance us out as humans.  These feelings are meant to be felt and acknowledged and allowed to pass through us.  It’s the contrast of life that makes us appreciate everything.  One thing that I’ve learned is that it’s okay to visit all these emotions for a time but I just don’t want to take up residence in any one place for too long.  I’ll end up missing out on true living, growth and love.  But, it’s possible to visit all these emotions while being in a state of deep love within.  When we live in true love, that is, joy, peace, calm, compassion, empathy, we are able to live our daily lives with an innate knowing that we are perfect as we were created to be.  Perfect, not in the sense of actions or reactions but perfect in the sense that deep within our core resides God.  You can’t get more perfect than that.


Published by

Mary Mangee

I have lived a life and learned many things along the way. Through my daily experiences I want to share the little lessons I have picked up and share them with you. Maybe you can find some pearls of wisdom in your day too.

10 thoughts on “Contrast”

  1. There is nothing wrong with being human. The School of Life has a great deal to teach us. Finding the balance is our struggle. I will have to say though that perfection is realistic and only because there have been human beings who sought to achieve that perfect balance between being human and learning to allow the spirit to come forward in the body and the mind.

    Jesus was a man. He was a living example of what we are all capable of achieving when Love is the reason for living. Imagine what a beautiful world could be created if humanity aspired to don the mantle of Love. To Live it, Breathe it, Walk it and Talk it.

    Imagine that. No one would go hungry, no one would have to worry about medical bills, or paying for education, or be concerned about a toxic waste dump in their backyard that is killing them or their children.

    Imagine the land, water, and air would be pristine because no one is raping or pillaging the resources of our planet for profit. Educating the children to become stewards of the planet so the blessings and bounty of the Mother Earth could recover from the abuse of mankind to recapture Her full bounty, Her grace and Her blessings for all. Stewards of faith and vision working together with each other, instead of money, to sustain ourselves, our families and each other instead of the need for greed.

    You and I may not see this Garden of Eden restored in our lifetime, but perhaps it could be a dream for future generations to aspire toward. I believe all things are possible. I believe that humanity as a whole can heal. I believe we can make our world sustainable for everyone. Yes, perfection IS possible – only the mind of mankind needs to change.

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    1. Beautifully said Renee. I completely agree that Jesus did come and show us the way. He also told us that we could achieve the same things. I believe that wholeheartedly and I thank you for the reminder of the power of Jesus and the power that he gave us. You are right, perfection IS possible because Jesus proved it to us and invited us to join him in the power of love. Thank you so much for your beautiful, inspiring words today.

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  2. I love this, Mary I really relate too. When I got my dog Jasper all my be compulsively neat and tidy conditioning got turned upside down. The poor little mite got in trouble so many times just as I got in trouble growing up trying not to be messy when I am.

    And its so true what you write about visiting emotions but not getting stuck to them like Velcro. I see how I would or could intensify my painful emotions with thoughts. A Zen book Nothing Special and other books are teaching me to experience the emotion and let it pass through. Emotions are like waves and its best to learn how to surf the tide so we don’t get sucked under or tumbled about too painfully by the dumpers!!

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