Changing Tides

Some people were meant to move around in life from one place to another. The majority of us usually are born and raised in a certain town and will end up living there and staying there for all of our days. Sometimes we will move to another place but end up always coming back to what we call home.

I have a hobby of bird watching and as the years have passed I have learned a lot about their behavior. There are certain birds that migrate every year. They come here for the summer and when the weather gets cooler they move back to their warmer homes. Then there are birds such as blackbirds that may or may not migrate each year. I think it’s interesting that one year they decide as a flock to stick around and the next year they may pick up one and all and move on for a time going back and forth to the same places. There are other species of birds such as the Eagle that may stay in one place for life and other Eagles may move around. There doesn’t seem to be any particular rhyme or reason that I can see. One thing I know for sure is that our feathered friends just follow their instincts. They do what they do. There is no sitting down and thinking about the logistics of the move.

We as humans tend to complicate every little thing. Sometimes I wonder if we would be better off without this insatiable thinking mind. It never stops. Every day is the same as we routine ourselves to death. We could just follow our instinct and move along with it but we tend to look at movement or change as the enemy.

I have a friend that has moved quite a bit in the last few years. There are those that have asked her when she is going to get settled. For most of her life she had lived in one place just like a lot of us do, near her home town. Then changes happened and she decided to follow the inner need to try something new. The ripple effect of that first move interrupted the dynamic of those around her simply because she was part of the well oiled machine that was her support system and with her changing the flow it threw everyone out of kilter. I have watched her blossom as a spiritual being since that first move. She has learned to not get attached to environment or circumstances. As I watch her grow I also grow. Seeing her experiences I am learning to be more introspective and I am connecting to my own true self.

We seem to be so afraid of change. It’s so scary. I find solace in routine, knowing what each day will bring. Then, when things change, I feel out of sorts. It’s not natural to be so stuck in our ways. In my opinion we force ourselves into a state of habit. That’s how we bring on suffering in our lives. As you may have heard before, we are human “beings” not human “doings”. The animals and the birds and bees, they are beings. I’ve chosen to live as a “being”. Life could be much more pleasant if I would just go with the flow. It sounds really easy doesn’t it?

It is not the end of the world when our routine is shattered. It is the beginning of a whole new world, wide open and full of possibilities. Each new experience in our lives teaches us different things. It makes sense that moving around could enlighten us in ways we never imagined. Being able to see how others live on a daily basis gives us a new beginning to our point of view. It changes us. If you have lived in the Northern part of the United States since birth and then you move to the South, you will definitely learn a different culture. After a time you will be able to understand people in a different way. Our perception of others can change and there is freedom in that. Our point of view opens up so much by being exposed to differences. If we allow ourselves to “be” and let things flow as they will, we will grow. That’s what I want for myself. I want to grow and experience new things and people and places. I want to be free. This does not mean that I have to move around from place to place constantly. It’s the attachment to our environment and routine that keeps us stale. It’s time to open up and let energy move through us. If we allow it we will grow because as the energy comes in we can take what we need and allow the rest to flow right on through and out. That’s why emotions and feelings are so important and why we should not stifle them. They are here to teach us things. But we have to allow the flow to reap the benefits.

It is our attachment to emotions that causes suffering. I have become attached to being depressed at times in my life. Not that I chose to be depressed but that I sat too long with it. There are different kinds of depression and I am not an expert about the subject. I have suffered with clinical depression for most of my life and I didn’t even realize it until I was well into my thirties. There was horrendous suffering on a daily basis full of desperation. I felt too exhausted to live. I didn’t understand why I felt that way until my doctor diagnosed me. But at that moment I had a decision to make. I had to choose whether or not to try medication or psychotherapy or neither. But I was not in a state to even make the decision because that is what desperation will do to you. It sucks the life right out of you. I can’t explain why but I made the choice to start with the medication. It was a horrible experience in the beginning. The medicine made me shake and feel sick and this lasted for 8 weeks. I kept calling the doctor and telling him how much I was suffering and he kept saying “please continue the medicine. It will kick in soon.” After the 8 week period it did kick in and I felt like a new person. I felt like I wanted to live. It didn’t make me someone that I wasn’t but it gave me the chemical balance that I needed and was lacking. But there was more work to do because I had a lot of pain and suffering inside of me to be healed. I was very resistant to psychotherapy for years and I suffered immensely. Over and over again the same sorrow and anguish would engulf me. I would think that I was better and that I had healed from loss and struggle and then out of nowhere it would find me again. It took me probably another 10 years before I was willing to embrace therapy. At that point I was such a mess that I had to be forced into therapy because of a mental breakdown. The day I started therapy was the day that I opened my heart, my mind and my eyes and allowed the healing to begin. For a whole full year I had my therapy and I worked it to the best of my ability. It was hard and painful and exhausting but I did the work. The emotions were so raw and felt so new like the circumstances had just happened. It was very difficult but I am happy to report that I did have that major breakthrough of healing and this time it was complete for that particular circumstance from my past.

My point is that when I was finally able to allow the pain and suffering to flow through me it was able to flow out of me. I had to stop pushing my suffering underneath so it wouldn’t hurt anymore. All I was doing was covering it. The best thing that happened to me was being forced to face it, work through it and allow it to leave. That is why emotions and feelings are given to us. They are our teachers. I now give myself permission to accept that certain things did happen in my past. I don’t need to deny that they happened or push them away. I just need to acknowledge the feelings of hurt or sadness or pain and then accept them because they are real and then release them. Take the healing lessons and be free.

Movement of any kind such as moving to new environments, moving our physical bodies or allowing the movement of emotions and feelings to flow freely in and out is the healing mechanism that can set us free. So, feel free to move from North to South or East to West. Feel free to change your job if you’re not happy. Acknowledge and accept those emotions that nobody wants to talk about. Give them their voice and learn from them. Feel free to heal. Embrace the changing tides and the changing weather. Embrace the differences between ourselves and others. Feel the freedom of movement and change in all things. Change up your daily routine. Experience the little things more intensely. Stick your toes in the water. Feel it and embrace it. By allowing all things in our being to flow, moving in and out, we embrace Freedom!