“Did I say that?”

It all started in early November 2019.  The boyfriend got injured at work.  Complicated injuries have him home full time for now.  With everyone being home quarantined at present, here is my experience with home quarantine not related to the coronavirus.

At first, all hands on deck in caring for my beloved.  That has not changed.  Actually, we both care for each other the best we can since I have health issues too.  When there is a sudden reconstruction of one’s life you start to see different personalities appear from someone you’ve lived with for years.  And you thought you knew them.  HA!!!

In all fairness, my boyfriend is used to working every day for his entire life and when you lose that suddenly, you lose part of your identity.  Then there is the uncertainty of what’s next.  Together we have run the gambit of emotions on this crazy rollercoaster.

I’m going to break it down for you how the two of us have gotten closer over these last few months.

I wake up to the sound of the tv every morning.  Not part of my usual reality.  I used to go all day with no television.  I loved the sweet silence throughout the day.  Now, it’s Fox News or sports channel or Ancient aliens.  My three choices.  Ok, fine. If you go back and read my post titled “Aliens in the House”, you’ll understand how I have accepted the reality that aliens live among us. Apparently, living in my house.  It now has been pounded into my psyche that Democrats and Republicans cannot get along and who the hell cares about Tom Brady.

But, it being a new day, I smile.  Moving forward, we attend physical therapy 3 days per week.  Afterward, we usually go to McDonald’s for breakfast and leisurely hang out and chat for a bit. That was before this social distancing thing. Now we sit in the car and eat our breakfast and chat.  Sometimes we stop and get soft pretzels and a soda and hang out on the dock of the bay.  Go ahead, sing the song, “Sittin of the dock of the bay. Watchin the tide roll away.”  I sing it often.

The conversations that we have had in the last 4 months are the real eye-openers:

Sitting in the car, eating our soft pretzels and drinking soda:  Soda makes you burp and we own our burps.  The louder the better.  He finishes his soda and burps and I dismiss it as usual.  I finished mine and let a loud, boisterous burp.  He had a look of disgust on his face as he said, “Dis – gusting”.  I completely ignored that because that’s what we do but in the same motion, I looked over at him and blurted out, “I love you so much.”  Confounded, he said, “So, I guess I have to call you disgusting in order to get an I love you?”  It happened so fast and it was like I didn’t even hear him say, “Dis – gusting”.  After a minute of going over the conversation, we both laughed so hard that our stomachs hurt and tears just rolled down our faces.

Driving home from physical therapy, we had a conversation about how I should slow down because state troopers can scan your speed from behind the cop car.  I didn’t know that but, ok.  Then it began, he continued for a good 5 minutes straight ranting about how he got pulled over because he was speeding.  His explanation to the cop was that he was on a grade and he had to build up speed to keep pace as he ascended so-called grade.  He kept talking and talking and I couldn’t take another minute.  I shouted, ” Stop talking.  I didn’t need a dissertation on the trajectory of the highway grade and how that doesn’t warrant a ticket.”  His reaction was priceless.  Astonished and half offended. Once again, my brain seems to be on a delay, I replayed the conversation in my mind and almost had to pull over for laughing so damn hard and crying at the same time.

Our living room has a couch and two recliners.  I usually sit on the couch with the dog and my boyfriend sits in the rocking recliner.  The recliner is getting old and now it has the most irritating squeak.  My boyfriend has this nervous rock.  He can’t sit still.  If he’s not in a rocking chair, his leg is constantly shaking.  I try, I swear I try, but after hours of that damn squeak, I want to jump out of my seat, drag that damned chair outside and burn it.  I want to burn it in big flames, big, smoky flames.  I feel like it would be such a cleansing ritual.  It would free my soul.  Every single day, hour after hour I listen to that evil squeak that has been sent to test the conduction of every single nerve in my body.  I have to say, I patiently tolerate it.  I don’t ever ask him to stop rocking. Well, once in a while, I ask him for just a moment, through gritted teeth, to please just stop before I have to explode.

We have become much closer than ever.  We have shared different experiences of our lives with each other, now that we have the time to do so.  We have also opened the pandora’s box of each of our little annoying nuances.  We’re still here, laughing mostly and enjoying each other’s company, for the most part.  Every now and then, there are little whispers coming from under our breath that we want to say out loud but also keep to ourselves.  The whispers tend to sneak out of our mouths all on their own.  We sit back and smile and think, “Did I say that?”

My hope is that you are getting the most positive experiences from your quarantine time with family.  I hope you laugh more than you cry and that you are finding virtue in your level of patience.  Smile, it makes life so much better.

 

 

 

You Can Teach an Old Dog New Tricks

Last week I was in the waiting area of a physical therapy center.  I played around on Facebook for a little bit and then decided to shut off my phone and just engage in my surroundings.  I like to at least look people in the eye as they pass by me, giving them a quick smile.  It’s important to interact that way.  The passerby and I each have something to offer the other.  We exchange energies, I believe.  If you open yourself to the opportunity, you meet new people, share stories, smile and laugh together.  That’s a concept that is quickly fading away with the younger generations, sadly.

As I sat, I  listened to the receptionist and an office manager have a conversation about troubles with the computer system.  The problem was that the receptionist had just sat on the phone for an hour and a half with AT to work through a technical problem.  As soon as she got off the phone, she pressed a button and magically, the situation resolved itself.  It was instantaneous.  She was flabbergasted at the fact that she just wasted an hour and a half of her life that she can never get back.  As she relayed this to her manager, the two went on to discuss the fact that it is hard at the end of the year to reconcile year-end computer processes and have a holiday in between.  I get it.  Christmas is near the end of December and there is a lot of back up work to be done with the computer.  Having Christmas and New Year’s holidays while trying to close out a month and a year on the computer can be a bit daunting.

The next part of the conversation went a little haywire as far as I am concerned.  The receptionist is a young woman probably in her mid to late 20’s and the office manager is in her 50’s.  The receptionist starting to complain and asked why does Christmas and New Year have to come together at the same time.  Hmm, I was anxious to see where this thought process was going.  As I listened, my astonishment could have knocked me right out of my chair.  She went on to ask, ” What is Christmas anyway?”  She was very confused as she tried to figure this out.  She said, “Is that when he died?”  At this point the office manager spoke up and looked at her, trying to remind her about the three wise men and a baby being born.  Before the receptionist could process this information she blurted out, “Oh, wait, that’s Easter.”

To say that I was confounded is an understatement.  My mind went rushing, thrashing, flailing, not knowing how to process what I just heard.  I felt like I was in a dream state.  My mind became an exhibit of discomposure.  Is it actually possible that someone in their 20’s doesn’t have any idea who Jesus Christ was?  Not any idea why we celebrate the holidays?  No clue as to the true meaning of these gatherings of people around the world?  I cannot fathom the possibility that here in the United States a person could be that ignorant to facts regarding certain traditions.  The US is a populous of many different religions and belief systems.  I understand that many people are not educated on other’s faith practices.

I guess, my mind is blown because it makes me deeply sad that we have commercialized holidays so much that young people truly have no idea what any of it means.  They wander around aimlessly at Christmas, spending their money and frantically rushing against time to accomplish almost impossible tasks for the sake of a holiday that they know nothing about.  The absurdity of this lack of knowledge hit me so hard that it rattled me to the core.

I guess, Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny reign supreme in a world that needs to know the limitless quality of love.  I’m not suggesting that everyone become Christians.  I respect other people’s faith and most are based on true love and humanity.  I am astounded that a younger generation are not being given some form of foundation to build on.

Then again, that may not be true.  I am a woman in her late 50’s.  I was raised Catholic and although I do not practice Catholicism any longer, I do believe in a personal relationship with God.  Maybe the new generation is not being indoctrinated the way that many of us have been.  That’s not always a bad thing.  Maybe they are free to decide for themselves what to believe in without indoctrination.  Just because they are not being exposed to religion doesn’t mean they are not being exposed to love and humanity.

While my mind was knocked off its axis while listening to the aforementioned conversation, a new lesson is coming through.  Religion is not love.  Love is love.  Compassion is love. Peace, happiness, sharing and caring is love. I didn’t need indoctrination to know love and while I am a Christian, my beliefs are based on a deep personal relationship with my Holy Spirit.  I don’t participate in organized religion because it does not feed my soul.

I have slowly but surely been setting aside my indoctrinated mind, growing spiritually each and every day.  Although the younger generations may seem to lack the knowledge of the history of Jesus Christ and the holidays, they certainly know how to share the love and caring that is needed so desperately in this world.

Experiences of a One Dollar Bill

Stiff and fresh from the mint factory, the dollar bill begins its life at the local bank.  A small grey-haired woman, slightly bent forward, wearing her crocheted cardigan sweater stands in line.  She has a look of determination on her face with her lips pursed because she is taking care of important bank business.  Whenever the elderly go to the bank it is considered urgent.  They don’t use the ATM because technology doesn’t agree with them.  No, standing in line in a building called a bank is of paramount nature.  As she approaches the counter she takes out her social security check from her purse and hands it to the teller to be cashed.  She’s very attentive to the process.   These new, stiff bills are really hard to separate for the elderly hand.  And so, she slightly dampens her finger with her tongue to separate and count her treasure trove while making sure the teller watches her in case there is an error.  She is satisfied and leaves the bank feeling triumphant that she accomplished an errand on her list for the day.

Next week is her granddaughter’s birthday.  Our elderly friend picks out the perfect birthday card and sits carefully pondering what she should write inside the card.  After all, this is a very special occasion.  She continues this preparation and carefully contemplates how much money she will put in the birthday card.  She counts out ten one dollar bills, fresh and new and places them in the card.  Off they go to the world of a five-year-old.

The little girl is so excited to see so many “monies” in her card.  What will she do with such a prosperous portion?  Filled with excitement, she begs her mommy to take her to the store.  A tiny little girl, holding her mommy’s hand is confounded with all the choices in front of her at the dollar store.  She carefully deliberates and finally decides on her delights.  As the child and her mommy approach the checkout, she carefully counts her money and hands it to the nice lady behind the counter.  A happier child, the world has never seen.

The next person in line is picking up a few household items.  He’s a young bachelor trying to stretch a dollar.  The necessities of having his own apartment mean having cleaning supplies on hand.  He never would have imagined himself buying cleaning stuff for his own place.  His sense of independence makes him so proud.  He’s defining his purpose as a “man”.  Staking his claim on his own place like men do.  This is his first time buying this kind of stuff so he’s a little apprehensive about whether it’s the right stuff for the job.  He doesn’t remember what cleaners his mom used at home.  That stuff just wasn’t important to him at the time but now, his world is different.  He’s a grown-up, doing grown-up stuff.  He proudly hands the check out lady his twenty-dollar bill and she gives him his change which included a fresh one-dollar bill.  The sight of a young bachelor excited to go home and clean his new apartment, beginning a new adventure in adulthood can make a person feel proud of his accomplishment.  He goes home and takes his cleaners from the bag and starts reading directions like it was a captivating book.  And he begins the task at hand.   At this moment he is so happy being an adult.  Soon, hunger starts urging him away from cleaning but he wants to finish what he started.  The next best thing to do is to order a pizza and so he does.  The pizza delivery person arrives with a fresh, hot,  mouth-watering pizza just waiting to be devoured.  Well, of course, this delivery person deserves a nice tip for bringing such a feast to a ravenous, young man.  He hands off 4 one-dollar bills, one still stiff and fresh from the bank and the delivery person goes happily on his way.

As a delivery person, working part-time at night, tips are the goal.  This person is a young twenty-something, going to college during the day and delivering pizza at night to be able to continue paying for cell phones, insurance, and car payments. Tips are the life-blood for someone in this position.  It has been an exhausting day but there is still homework to be done.  Pizza delivery can extend into the late hours of the night and school comes very early in the morning.  The first thing to do though after coming home is to count up those tips and separate them.  The majority of the money is one-dollar bills but there are enough fives thrown in there to make it worth the effort. Tomorrow the cell phone bill is due and the cash is of paramount importance.  The homework is finally finished by 2 am and a short sleep is a necessity.  Seven in the morning comes very quickly.  The agenda for the day is school, quick lunch, stop by the cell phone store to pay the bill and then back to school for a few more hours.  After that, pizza delivery calls.  The cell phone bill is $133.24.  Payment consists of cash, a bunch of twenties, fives and 3 one-dollar bills along with 24 cents in change.  Success!! At least for another day in the life of a college student.  Another bill paid and more money coming in.

The fresh, stiff, one-dollar bill isn’t so stiff anymore.  As it continues its journey from one hand to the next it becomes worn and soft and supple.  The exchange of hands and lives and circumstances is unfathomable.  This inanimate,  simple one-dollar bill has touched so many lives, seen so many things, and gone from one circumstance to another.  If it was a living, breathing entity, imagine the stories it could tell.

The cycle of life travels from one hand, one person, one circumstance to another.  The journey, if separated and considered piece by piece is astounding.  The power of one interaction after another is capable of transforming people into new, different beings.  The potential for life-altering experiences can come from one tiny, seemingly insignificant situation.  Everything matters.  Every single thing matters.  Every word, every action, every reaction matters.  Nothing in life is insignificant.  No person is insignificant and no circumstance is insignificant.  We are all of distinguishable value.  Life is of insurmountable value.

 

As I Sit and Paint

 

I sit in comfort at a local ceramics shop, enjoying the joy and peace of painting a birdhouse.  I use all colors of the rainbow as I create my special piece that has only my handprint upon it.  I am joined by my boyfriend and ladies around me, all enjoying their relaxing time the same as I.  There is Christmas music playing in the background.  We share warmth and lightness as we chat with each other.  All are intent on their work.

The subject matter we talk about has an extensive range. We share how far we’ve come with holiday shopping and errands that we must complete later in the day.  We discuss different health issues and past experiences that bring us to the opinions we have formed.  Each listening and understanding and painting as we go.

A subject comes up about a local news story where two young men were driving at a high speed and they lost control of their vehicle as it flew through the air and landed in the second story of a building.  We all quietly continue to paint as we remark of what a terrible tragedy it was.  We speak of the feeling of sadness for the parents of the deceased and we continue to paint.  I observe in my mind,  the contrast of the story and, the activity that we are partaking in.  I know for myself that as I create in this relaxed situation, my heart aches for a dear loved one who is struggling with pure existence, unable to even speak without sobbing, striving for a new way of being.  My heart hurts as I watch my boyfriend tackle his art creation through the pain of a severe work injury and being unsure of the outcome of said injury.

Each person at our table has trials and tribulations, heartaches and sadness that are alive and well in their lives at this very moment.  Yet, we sit and paint. I am torn between the activity and the underlying pain we are all suffering.  I somehow, cannot reconcile the two. As I sit and ponder the situation, I feel guilty for enjoying this moment of relaxation.  I cry inside for what my family member is going through.  I can only pray that he could have this moment of clarity in his life at this same moment.  My tears continue to flow for people and situations that are unseen, unheard and unknown.

As I paint, I chat and I contemplate.  I am an observer, aware of all the underlying pain and suffering each person is encountering in their lives.  Realizing how unimportant and trivial some of our daily complaints are, I can feel a larger picture emerge right in front of me.  There is a higher purpose here.  There is a greater calling for all of us.  We are all suffering in one form or another.  Our families, children, grandchildren all have struggles.  Our neighbors, our friends, people we come in contact with every day either as passersby or acquaintances we wave to as we drive by, they all have trials and sadness that we know nothing about.  We all have a story.  We all have heartache.

Our purpose is to love and be loved.  Isn’t that what each of us really want?  It’s a simple concept but hurt people, hurt people. We all begin life with a clean slate of joy and love.  Newborns come into this life with pureness.  Experiences passed on from generation to generation teach us a way to be.  Sometimes it is not such a pretty outcome.  But as I stated before, we are all in this together and we can help each other along the way.  As stated by John Denver, “It’s about time we find out, it’s all of us or none.”

In comprehending this, we have an opportunity to share an even greater love for our fellow humans. We are all in this together whether we want to admit it or not.  We are very much the same.  Life is hard sometimes.  It can be unbearable for some.  As I sit and paint, I feel the underlying stories of each person I come in contact with.  My heart is open and outstretched to share as much love as I have.

What’s Under the Cover?

Recently, I’ve been hanging around with some awesome ladies.  Some that I have known a while and some new friends.   There are the elderly ones, those of my own age and some younger.  Once again, I become an observer of people who are not what you see visually.  You can look at a person and see an old woman and leave it at that.  But, after taking the time to listen, you find that you can never judge a book by its cover.

For example, I’ve met this wonderful woman, who I have seen before and known her only as a friend’s mother.  I assumed she’s mother material just like all mothers.  Now she’s older and that’s that.  After spending an evening with her, I found her to be spunky, strong, independent and hilarious to be around.  She has lived a hard life of sorts, raising three daughters as a single mother.  She’s worked her whole life in a time when women were considered lesser than men in the workplace.  Now wait a minute, I should say in a time when it was even worse for women in the workplace than it is now.  It still isn’t equal in my opinion. She recounted stories of her working days of how men tried to undermine her because they didn’t want a woman in her particular position.  She’s a soft-spoken woman so you would never think that she would stand up for herself.  But in her soft-spoken way, she handled these men with the might of a warrior.  She put them in their place and would not accept being looked down upon because she was female.  She’s had to be the strong one her whole life and she knows that there are times when men will take advantage of the unassuming old woman who just walked in the door of a car dealership.  They are eventually sorry for their mistaken assumptions when she tells them exactly the way it’s going to be.  They never saw that coming.  The treasures that she has lived need to be shared.  Younger people need to hear her stories because they don’t have a clue about how good they have it now.  It’s so refreshing to see the elderly and realize that were young once, they have lived a life and yes, they know about all the stuff that we think we should shelter them from.

I have a friend who just became a grandmother for the first time.  Her daughter is a hard-working young woman and is just returning to work after being out on maternity leave.  My friend shares the ‘goings on’ of the new young family.  Her son-in-law is not as prepared as he thought he was to be a parent.   The baby was born premature so it has been even more difficult these first few months than with having a full term pregnancy.  With that being said, the mamma has to go back to work and schedules have to be rearranged.  The daddy will need to take a more active role with the baby.  But, as my friend relays to me:  “I think he’s got a screw loose.  He doesn’t have a clue.”  My friend is the easiest going person with a great sense of humor.  The young family is preparing to go on a ‘vacation’ to visit daddy’s family.  As they prepare and begin packing the car, the son-in-law seems not quite up to the task and states, “I am on vacation.”  I had to laugh when my friend told me this story because her eyes got so big as she was telling me this.  Both of us were shaking our heads and almost simultaneously said, “Doesn’t he know there is no vacationing from being a parent?”  Oh My, mister, mister has a rude awakening coming.

A new friend of mine who is around my age, in her fifties, has a remarkable sense of humor and a glorious soul filled with love.  She is the true example of, “When life gives you lemons…”.  When situations get difficult and stress is riding high, her mind just grabs out of thin air the funniest responses.  She told me a story of when her mother was in the hospital after an accident.  She and her sister were in the waiting area of the hospital for several hours.  They both would go in and out of her mother’s room and check on her.  As they were sitting there, someone came out to let them know how their mother was doing and out of the blue, she said, “What are you talking about, our mother is in the room down the hall.  She’s been sleeping this whole time.  We have been checking on this woman because we heard of her troubles and thought we would just wait here and keep an eye on her.”  Of course, she was joking but the attendant didn’t understand and noted how wonderful these two women were for waiting and attending to a complete stranger. This woman makes everything fun and she makes everyone that comes in contact with her feel like family.  She is the most hilarious person to be around.  When I am around her we laugh and giggle and share off-color silliness throughout the day.  This is how she is every day.  I just love being around her.  It’s funny to watch younger women around her respond to her humor.  There’s a younger woman in her 20’s that works with her.  A young person at first doesn’t know how to react to a woman in her 50’s with such a sense of humor.  The younger ones think the 50’s crowd is old and stuffy and that we don’t know what’s what in the world because they are young and they have created everything new.  Hahaha, the joke’s on them because we are the ones who really know how to have fun.  The 20-year-old is now getting used to the silliness and is enjoying every bit of it.  Hopefully, she will realize that us old folks do know a thing or two or three.

I have friends of all different ages and each age group and individual friend has so much to offer this world.  Sometimes I think we should put blinders on when we meet people so that we can’t make a judgment by what we see.  Too many people are missing out on real, meaningful relationships because their vision is so short-sighted.  There are treasures out there but I think we have to close our eyes, open our ears and our hearts so that we can feel the abundance of love that everyone has to offer.  Love comes in all different forms.  The story of a person’s life is a gift of love, knowledge and a new way of envisioning this life.  Grab the jewels and keep them with you forever.  They will enrich your life to the fullest.

 

Timing is Everything

 

 

Timing is a funny thing.  There’s bad timing which creates chaos and good timing which creates opportunities.  Then there is the perfect timing which can easily change the outcome of a situation from disastrous to excellent.

I’ve always taught my kids that if they are with the wrong crowd they can be guilty by association.  When friends make bad choices and you find yourself at the wrong place at the wrong time, you may end up dealing with consequences that weren’t yours to own.  I remember a young teenager who got into a schoolyard fight.  The fight began between two other kids and this teenager didn’t need to get involved.  But, he chose to take the fight to another level and turned the whole thing into a drastic mess.  He chose to be at the wrong place at the wrong time and then he chose to become a part of something that was way bigger than he was.  The fight between the first two kids was over but he created and escalated a new fight.  The victim was seriously hurt and the teenager found himself in jail.

I gave a gift certificate to a young woman for Christmas.  It was for a ceramics studio.  I thought it would be fun to do something together.  After Christmas, we finally went to the studio to enjoy the day and make our ceramics.  We had so much fun that day.  I was trying to decide what piece I wanted to paint, I have a hard time making up my mind, so the young woman was very patient and helped me.  She is very knowledgeable with ceramics and she patiently guided me through the process of picking paint colors and explained to me how the colors must be laid down in a certain order to achieve the correct result.  As we sat and painted, we were conversing with the owner of the establishment.  She took notice of the knowledge and patience that the young woman had given me.  After many hours of painting, the owner came over and handed the young woman an application for employment.  At that time, the young woman was having some struggles at her place of employment.  This opportunity showed itself to her at the right time.  The young woman was open to a new adventure and so she was hired to do a job in a field that she loves.  Surely, this is an example of very good timing.

A woman I know recently had to have surgery.  Everything was in place.  The date was set on the calendar, the pre-testing was finished and the surgery was set to occur.  The night before the surgery, her doctor called her and stated that he was reviewing her pre-testing results and he was not comfortable doing the surgery because there was a greater risk than they had first thought.  He didn’t want to jump into the surgery without further investigation.  The woman went through some additional testing and she and the doctor came up with a new game plan.  Although very serious, the surgery was done in a more non-invasive way, which led to quicker healing time.  Other unplanned things occurred in this process and led to a life-saving intervention. My friend was definitely at the right place at the right time for this situation to happen.  If she had been anywhere else when the complication occurred, she would have died.   If the doctor had not initially reviewed her case, the risk to my friend would have been catastrophic.  All of these steps placed this woman at the right place at the right time.  She had faith and everything turned out better than if she had planned it herself.  Sometimes we don’t know what’s in our best interest and things change suddenly and unexpectedly.  For my friend, this gave her a new lease on life.

When plans change suddenly, it’s best to go with the flow and see where the path takes us.  Timing is everything.

Doggy Duty

I took Shadow to the dog park today.  We usually go at the same time so he hangs out with the same group of dogs.  They have their own little pack now.  Today we had a special visitor named Sheena.  Shadow and Sheena have met before.  They are both around the same age, 10 or 11 months old.  They play perfectly together and run like the wind.  It is glorious to watch them run the entire length of the park with the wind in their hair.  They don’t have any worries.  The only thing that matters is the joy they are feeling in that very moment.

I have never really paid attention to dogs at play before.  I am becoming fascinated with their interactions.  They share a language that only the dogs know.  If you watch closely you start to pick up on their conversations.  For instance, there is one dog at the park that does not like Shadow.  He has never liked him.  I don’t know why,  but Shadow is young and still learning to pick up cues from other dogs.  He doesn’t always understand that they are not in the mood to play.  Most of the other dogs are tolerant and are teaching him what their behavior means.  He’s starting to get it.  The one dog that doesn’t like him, certainly makes it known that he is not a fan of Shadow but for some reason Shadow refuses to believe him and then a riot ensues.  I am noticing now that Shadow is starting to step back when that particular dog growls at him, but he doesn’t always back away.  He better figure it out soon, though.

As I watch the dogs play, I notice that they like to spar.  They both jump up on their two back legs and come at each other in a way that may look threatening but they are careful not to hurt one another.  They mouth each other and nip at each others’ ears.  But there is no intent to injure when they are in full play mode.  They automatically know not to bite down too hard.  Of course, there are occasions when that happens and there will be a loud yelp but no harm ,no foul.

When a dog means harm, there is no doubt what is happening.  You cannot misinterpret their cues.  Not from the human standpoint.  When they are agitated, they will make their intentions known immediately.  Shadow, on the other hand, will learn one way or another.  When I notice a problem arising, I immediately leash Shadow and walk him away from the ruckus.  All of the other dog owners do the same.  We have a little community at the dog park and we realize that some personalities just won’t mesh.

While watching the dogs interact, I realized that if humans interacted like the dogs, there would never be misunderstandings.  Dogs don’t talk about each other and spread rumors.  They do what they do and if they don’t like what is happening, they share that very loudly and clearly.  It would be great if humans could just say what’s on their mind, have it out and move on.  It would only take a second for the situation to be solved.  But, there’s the whole, getting feelings hurt stuff.  Yes, I guess humans have it a little bit more complicated.  It would feel so good if you got in a situation with someone and you didn’t like what they did or said, so you just spurted out what you thought, true to your deepest feelings ,and then both parties would just walk away with no hard feelings.  Unfortunately, that’s not how the world works.  Every now and then, I would love to just shout out what I am really thinking.

There is a lot of joy in watching the dogs run free and wild.  There are also lessons we can learn while watching.  But, humans are not dogs and we do get our feelings hurt.  We have a right to have different opinions but we do not have a right to hurt each other. Eventually, I think we will also figure it out, one way or another.  Hopefully, peace and harmony will be the outcome.  Meanwhile, I will continue to admire the strength, and willingness to have fun as I watch my four legged friends frolick in the park.

 

Where has Christ-mas Gone?

Christmas time.  I dread it every year.  I feel like a mouse trying to escape a trap.  When I go to the store I hear Christmas music, but I know it’s not for my enjoyment.  It’s to put me in a certain frame of mind.  I feel pressured into consumerism.  I feel like I can’t breathe.  I’ve got to get out of the store.  I need peace and quiet.  I want to run from all of this craziness.  Don’t they see what’s happening?  Don’t they know we are being shepherded into a pen?   I know the true meaning and I will not stand for this.  I will not renounce my belief for anyone.  It is Christ- mas time.  It is time to celebrate the birth of Jesus.  Why aren’t we allowed to use his name if it’s his birthday?  If we can’t use it and rejoice in it, what are we celebrating.    Why are we all so blinded by the sparkling lights and the ringing bells.  Get me out of this trap, this rat race.  Take me to the peaceful place within my soul that knows what is real.  We say Christmas is for the children.  We are the children of God.  Let’s rejoice and celebrate accordingly.

Love is a year round action.  I don’t need ringing bells or holly or Santa to feel true love.  Jesus came to show us the way of true love.  That love lives in each and every one of us.  Let’s change things up and celebrate love. We can celebrate by sharing our time with others, laughing, singing, caring and loving.  These are the gifts that matter most.  I have to step back from allowing the commercialism to consume my heart.  I have to return to my source, my God. I open my heart now to receive love and to give love freely.  Now, I can feel the joy of Christmas.  Thank you Jesus!  Amen.

Shine Brighter

The other day I was out and about running errands and I had this experience where I felt like I was standing outside myself, observing my surroundings and the people moving about.  It was kind of weird and pretty cool at the same time.  Throughout my self-awareness journey, I have heard countless teachers mention that you have to be the observer of your own life.  When in that state, you are not operating in the egoic mind.  Does that mean that I have achieved something on that day?

Although it was an interesting experience, it only lasted for a short moment and I continued on with my day.  But, the experience itself stayed with me and I stayed conscious of the fact that it did happen.  I ask myself, ” What could the meaning of that moment be?”  I am finding that more and more people are becoming awakened to the spirit of the universe.  In my mind, I consider that to be the Holy Spirit.  As I have mentioned before, I’ve read so many books, taken classes and watched videos about self awareness.  Ever since I started Blogging, I’ve noticed that  I am encountering more and more like-minded souls out there.  This demonstrates the fact that the world is awakening from an abysmal slumber where people operated on a level of puppetry.  We have been wandering around aimlessly and willingly accepting interpretations of what life’s purpose should be from generations upon generations of pain and suffering.  The sins of the father seem to pass down and through lifetimes of willing recipients.  There are cycles of conditioning that move through us and so we share that dysfunction with our children and grandchildren and so on.

On this day, in the year 2018, things are changing.  Cycles are being broken and new thought patterns are being wired into the physical brain because somewhere along the line of generations, someone had a form of insight that maybe things were not what they were being conveyed as.  Someone decided to question certain attributes of their religion or their culture or their family.  All it takes is one person to change the dynamics of any situation imaginable.  Just one different thought pattern, just one simple question at a time, just one tiny difference can jolt us out of our dormancy and bring us into a light that we’ve never experienced before.

I believe that I may have experienced that light.   My awareness in that moment expanded to a different level.  I had a glimpse of clarity and it changed the dynamic of my thought process.  I can only imagine what would happen if this experience I had,  moved from one moment to several and so forth.

Imagine the result of  my tiny, little moment of consciousness being magnified by millions of people.  It only takes a spark to get a fire going.  We are on a path of awakening and I can feel the acceleration of awareness around me.

I am on this journey along with so many others.  We are all at different levels of consciousness.  As we journey together, the light is beginning to shine brighter and brighter and I believe that it is becoming impossible to ignore such a bright light.

 

 

Blogging Gratitude

As of late, I’ve been reading the blogs of fellow bloggers.  It truly enhances my spirit when I read such inspiring voices from out there in the world.  I feel that I have been introduced to kindred spirits all for the good of humanity.  The blogs that I have been reading reflect personal growth and strength of character. They also make me smile and cry.  They make me feel.  It is a wonderful gift to be able to feel emotion being conveyed by others.  It gives me hope that the world is full of honest, hardworking, hard loving types of people.  The words of others who share their experiences have so much power to enlighten the world.

We are all in this world together.  Life is meant to be lived and enjoyed.  There are great stories of encouragement and fun being shared.   I began this endeavor of blogging because of a writing group that I belong to.  Their suggestion was to create a blog to share my words with others.  I never thought that what I would get out of this blogging  would be so gratifying.  Each day, I look forward to reading new posts from the blogging community.  It makes me want to write even more.  I find myself looking forward to posting about the different facets of my life, some funny, some spiritual in nature and some reflections on what is happening around me.  By connecting to like minded individuals, my life has become richer.  I feel like my writing is growing into something I never expected.

The blogging community has become my teacher in so many ways.  I am learning how to write effectively.  My world has opened up to different styles of writing which have completely blown me away by provoking deep feelings inside me.  I never  believed in myself as a writer and I find that many others feel the same way, yet, it doesn’t stop anyone from sharing from their hearts and souls.  You have given me hope that my words can benefit others as yours have done to me.  I truly believe that together we can change the world, one word at a time.  Thank you for sharing your world with me.