Blogging Gratitude

As of late, I’ve been reading the blogs of fellow bloggers.  It truly enhances my spirit when I read such inspiring voices from out there in the world.  I feel that I have been introduced to kindred spirits all for the good of humanity.  The blogs that I have been reading reflect personal growth and strength of character. They also make me smile and cry.  They make me feel.  It is a wonderful gift to be able to feel emotion being conveyed by others.  It gives me hope that the world is full of honest, hardworking, hard loving types of people.  The words of others who share their experiences have so much power to enlighten the world.

We are all in this world together.  Life is meant to be lived and enjoyed.  There are great stories of encouragement and fun being shared.   I began this endeavor of blogging because of a writing group that I belong to.  Their suggestion was to create a blog to share my words with others.  I never thought that what I would get out of this blogging  would be so gratifying.  Each day, I look forward to reading new posts from the blogging community.  It makes me want to write even more.  I find myself looking forward to posting about the different facets of my life, some funny, some spiritual in nature and some reflections on what is happening around me.  By connecting to like minded individuals, my life has become richer.  I feel like my writing is growing into something I never expected.

The blogging community has become my teacher in so many ways.  I am learning how to write effectively.  My world has opened up to different styles of writing which have completely blown me away by provoking deep feelings inside me.  I never  believed in myself as a writer and I find that many others feel the same way, yet, it doesn’t stop anyone from sharing from their hearts and souls.  You have given me hope that my words can benefit others as yours have done to me.  I truly believe that together we can change the world, one word at a time.  Thank you for sharing your world with me.

Cool It

It’s been a very relaxing weekend.  I love that the cooler weather has made its appearance.  I am one of those people that, no matter the temperature, I always have the fan on at night.  I like to have the air moving so I can breathe easier.  Last night the temperature got down to about 47 degrees.  It was wonderful and yes, I had the fan on until the other occupants of my bedroom, namely the dog and my boyfriend, started shivering in the night.  I gave in and turned the fan off.

As a woman in my late 50’s, I experience hot flashes.  All night long, I have the blankets on and then off.  I repeat this cycle throughout the night.  It only stands to reason that I need the fan on.  Is it selfish of me to freeze everyone else out?

I take a moment to consider the dog.  He is very lucky to be priviledged enough to sleep in my bed so he doesn’t get any say in the tempererature.  He has his own blankets and still continues to steal mine when I need them.  Besides the fact that he spreads out and nearly pushes me right out of the bed.  His days are numbered in my bed.  The dog weighs 60 pounds and my patience is running out very quickly.  I just have to figure out how to get his majesty to sleep in his own bed.

My boyfriend, on the other hand, is 63 years old.  He works as a carpenter and his body is tired and achy.  He works in all the elements, whether it be heat, cold, rain or snow.  When he comes home, all he searches for is comfort.  I’ll give him that.  I make a nice dinner each night, well, most nights and I rub his tired, achy feet.  I always try to accomodate him especially where his sweets are concerned.  He loves sweets right after dinner and I usually always have something for him.  I believe that this man deserves this respect as he is the bread-winner in this household.

When it comes to sleep there are several things to consider:  I have several medical issues, including multiple sclerosis and heart disease.  He works a 14 hour day and has to leave the house at 4:00 am every morning.  God only knows what medical issues he has because he never goes to the doctor.  I have to say that he always tries to accomodate me with my illnesses and he is very patient when it comes to the bedroom temperature.  I do feel bad at times when he tells me he was shivering at night.  I always ask him to wake me up and I will turn the fan off but he won’t do it because he knows I need my sleep.  Of course, he could get up and turn the fan off himself but I choose to believe that he is trying to accomodate me and not that he is too lazy to get up.

Between the three of us in this double size bed, there is too much tossing and turning for everyone involved.  I know the dog has got to get out of my bed. But, my boyfriend wants him with us.  Where do I draw the line?  I have a feeling that it may come down to me sleeping in the dog’s bed and my boyfriend and the dog taking the human bed.  I think I would do anything for comfort at this point.  Still, it’s the principle of the thing.  I love the dog but I am the alpha in this relationship and come hell or high water, that dog is going to start sleeping in his own bed.

As far as the cool temperature goes, I think I am winning this battle, if you even want to call it that.  It’s  more of a silent stare-down but he relents.  I have to give him credit though, because he really doesn’t complain that often about being cold.  I guess it’s more about my guilt than anything else.

I’ve decided that I am going to enjoy these beautiful cool days of fall to the fullest extent, even having my window open at night.  This is my favorite time of year and it’s the little things in life that count the most.  The summer is the worst time of year for me because of my MS and so the fall is my respite to enjoy everything inside and outside.  I’m going to take this guilty pleasure of cool nights and not feel guilty.  The heat will be on soon enough.  As for the dog, I’ll keep you posted on my progress of moving him out of the bed.  That will be a whole debacle in itself.

Happy Fall.  Enjoy the beautiful show of dazzling colors and campfires and the coolness of the air.

 

B.M.

I spent three days with my adult children.  I have two sons and a daughter.  We all live in different states so it was a very special experience to be all together again.  It sounds all fluffy and nice doesn’t it?  It was nice and special, but not so fluffy.

My children can have conversations about most anything.  I’m all for that because I am usually the subject of their laughter.  This particular weekend, for some reason, focused on the need to share the habits of our bowels.  I told you it wasn’t so fluffy.

One son has shared that his bm habits have graduated to becoming events that no longer require toilet paper, they now have been upgraded to a new level that requires wipes.  While he used the lavatory, we heard sounds that have never been uttered in this world and when the realization came that he did not have enough wipes, we heard him loudly call his wife to handle this emergency situation.  The rest of us couldn’t stop laughing as he finally emerged with a smile on his face and sweat pouring from his brow.

As we all ate breakfast around the center island of the kitchen, we were laughing and having a good old time.  At that point my other son stood in the middle of the hallway.  There is a bathroom at each end of the house.  As he looked , he noticed that the one bathroom door was shut.  I saw him rubbing his stomach as he asked if anyone was in the other bathroom.  He announced that time was running out and he needed to get to a bathroom.  I quickly checked  the other bathroom and ushered one of my granddaughters out.  I stood in the hallway and shouted his name, waving him along like I was waving traffic at an intersection.  Whew, he made it just in time.

The next morning, my daughter, three granddaughters and I wanted to watch the sun rise over the mountains.  We got up early and made our way in the dark to the mountain.  We arrived at our destination, a calm, peaceful area on the side of the mountain and stood outside my daughter’s car awaiting the arrival of our maginificent friend.  As we stood there, my stomach started making sounds.  I turned to my daughter and said, “oh no, it’s happening.”  She knew exactly what I meant.  I have had this issue for a very long time and she has been with me while shopping in stores so she knows what I mean.  I said that I needed to sit down and maybe that would settle things.  Well, it didn’t.  As I pondered what to do next, I came up with a plan.  We noticed that back behind the trees there were two tractors parked, the kind used for cutting the grass.  They were well hidden.  My daughter suggested that I walk over there and take care of business but I told her that if I walked, it would make things happen before I got to my destination.  She decided to back her car up to get me there.  Now, I had more decisions to make and I had to make them quickly.  Toilet paper was not handy so I had to improvise using other sanitary items that were in my purse.  I grabbed them along with a pocket knife that my daughter gave me.  I looked at her like a deer in the headlights because I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do with this knife.  She told me three different times but I didn’t understand and she got frustrated with me.  I just grabbed the knife and my other tools for this emergency debacle I was in.  I headed in.  I had a mission to complete.  Getting there just in time, I completed the first part of my task quite easily as it had a mind of its own.  The second part of the plan came together as I had hoped, using the formentioned tools.  There was one problem, I didn’t have enough items to complete the project.  I had to think fast.  I had to think on my feet, literally.  I looked down at my feet and made the decision to sacrifice a sock.  Oh yes I did.  Now, I still had this pocket knife with me and I didn’t dare tell my daughter that I didn’t need it because she said it was a survival tool and I should use it as such.  Proudly, I dug up the ground with that knife so that I could cover any evidence that I had been there.  I emerged victoriously as my daughter and granddaughters laughed until they cried.  I joined them and we peacefully watched the sun rise over the mountain.  Mission accomplished.

As much as these three days were so special for us to gather as a family, the stories and carrying on  will live forever in us.  And we will amuse ourselves at the memories and the subject of the memories for a lifetime.  Of course, with my family, no subject is off limits as you can see.  Sometimes we are not so prim and proper and we share things that can fall under the category of “too much information”.  But it’s all in fun.  It’s all part of the game of life.  It’s okay to laugh at the things nobody ever talks about, out loud that is.

P.S.  My daughter later told me that the knife was to cut off my undergarments if necessary.

 

A Moment in Time

This past weekend we said goodbye to my former mother-in-law of 15 years.  She was a good woman; kind, generous and a little quirky.  Her independence however, tipped the richter scale.  This woman single handedly raised her son alone.  She worked as a nurse and made her way through life on her own terms.

She was a people person to the 10th degree.  She never sat alone for breakfast.  She would make her way to the local diner and created her very own version of the breakfast club.  After some time, their group became quite large and breakfast was spread out for a few extra hours.

She worked very hard and at times she took on two jobs.  She had her regular shift of nursing and on the side she worked for a nursing agency, travelling to people’s homes who were unable to get to the doctor , doing blood draws and collections.  She did what she had to do and then some.  She saved her money and planned trips around the world.

Working until retirement wasn’t enough for her.  She liked getting out there with other people so she took a job at a local Walmart.  She loved that job and she loved those people she worked with.

As I stated before, she was my former mother-in-law.  But, she was more than that.  She was the grandmother of my children.  The woman who always made special traditions for my kids.  She impacted their lives until , well, she still does, even after she passed away.

We gathered for her funeral on Saturday.  My children are grown and came together along with their children and I was included ,along with her son.  We celebrated her life as we came together for 3 glorious days of fun, nature, laughter and tears.  And, while her son and I are no longer married , for three days we were a family again.  The perfect send off for a woman that lived and breathed “family”.  She was right there with us as we enjoyed each other in her kitchen, gathered together around the center island eating massive amounts of food which could only make her proud.  We went for long walks in the woods as a family.  We laughed and enjoyed each other.

A moment in time that we may never see again.  And, for that moment, we were one unit.  The joy in my heart of being together with my children and grandchildren is a gift brought to me, courtesy of my former mother-in-law.  In the end, it doesn’t matter that she was my former anything, or that my former husband was involved with us this weekend.  In the end, we were a cohesive family enjoying our differences and celebrating a life well lived.

 

In Sickness and In Health

I’m tired today.  My body is aching and I haven’t felt well recently.  I go through these stages at different times.  I have illnesses but truly I am a healthy soul.  The body is going to do things we don’t want it to do.  It’s going to break down at some point because it is just a temporary housing for our soul.

Although, I am sick according to doctors, I am a healthy being, true and perfect as I was created.  The source of my light and life abide within me.  How could I be less than perfect?

So, today is an off day for my body.  Even though we have emotions and moods it doesn’t mean that we are not well.  Today I can choose to be sick in body and spirit or I can accept that my body is sick, but my spirit is “A” okay.

It’s easy to have a tendency to just give up the day to sadness and self pity because I am not feeling well,  but the truth of the matter is we are all really doing fine.  When we don’t feel well, we have to take time to breathe and hear the voice of God within.  We do this because it can keep us from identifying with our illness.  We are not our illness.  We are not a disease.  At these times we can stop and peel back some layers so that we can see more clearly who we are.  It may take some practice because we have to quiet our minds from the noise of our thoughts.

I have always referred to myself as a searcher.  I grew up as a practicing Catholic and them moved on to a Mennonite church for a while.  After that, I was familiarized with the Native American way.  I’ve always wanted to learn more spiritually.  I’ve wanted to connect with others in a more Christian way.  As I have journeyed on this path, I’ve picked up so many lessons.  I have learned to not identify with my circumstances and the results have been amazing.

My body has a disease called multiple sclerosis and when I first was diagnosed with it, I fell apart.  I was a mess physically, emotionally and spiritually.  I say spiritually because I was not in tune with God as the source of my being.  I knew God but didn’t realize he exists in me.  Physically, I let it get the best of me and wallowed in the sadness and grief that had been given to me.  When I think about it now I almost have to laugh to think that I am so special that a disease was “given” to me.  Given by who?

I do not believe that illness is given to anybody.  Life happens and it’s nobody’s fault.  I can’t blame God because I got MS.  He didn’t give it to me.  We live in a world with a lot of people.  There’s disease, illness, sadness, grief, loneliness and sorrow.  But, nobody gave any of that to me or to you.  It’s just part of being human.

I am human and my body is susceptible to any number of things going wrong.  There’s a lot going on in there;  cells and veins and moving things like lungs and air and hearts and pumping.  Germs get picked up and bodies react a certain way.  No, I am not special.  Every person has all of this going on.

I don’t want to wallow in sickness when I have the most prodigious spirit residing in this capsule I call a body.

The thing that makes me special and every single other being in this world is the Holy Spirit that is our source and our light.  How could we be anything other than amazing when the very thing that gives us life and light is at the core of our being?

I’m going to rest my body today and work with it.  I don’t have to be sad or in a miserable mood because it’s an off day.  It’s really not an off day.  It’s just a day and My spirit is still here, teaching me and allowing me to breathe with this particular body and when it is time to release this body, I will still be alive as the same perfect being as I was created.

Enchanting Tapestry

It’s happening.  The magic is happening.  I woke up this morning and stepped outside to feel a cool breeze hit my face and I knew I was stepping into the magical place that I have longed for.

Something has entered my soul and refreshed my spirit.  It seems to have happened overnight.  It wasn’t here yesterday and just like that, it has appeared.  There’s a sense of energy and vitality that comes with it, a letting go and new beginning all at the same time.  I’ve waited for nine months for this miracle to occur and now it has presented itself.

The birth of a new season, in my opinion, the most special of them all.  Bright colors are blazing a trail along the tree line.  As I drive through the mountains I notice trees  that have been kissed by the sun and have burst into glowing beauty.

In this magical hour, there is beauty in letting go.  The trees are willing participants as they share their glory with us and allow their leaves to transform into precious jewels as they move on their journey to another place; a place where they will now become the fertilizer for growth into another astonishing masterpiece.  The ceaseless pattern of life is shared by all living things.

The artistry that nature is sharing can never be duplicated because it is alive and unique, as each  soul has it’s own singularity.  The signature of life only passes through in this manner on one occasion.   The individuality of nature’s journey, including humans, is inestimable.

I celebrate this precious day and the changing of the season.  I feel the fire in my spirit as I welcome this new array of beauty into my being.

 

 

About comfort zones

This Blog was written by a fellow blogger Cristian Mihai. I found it to be very interesting and worth a share to all of my followers. I hope you enjoy

Cristian Mihai

Unclean. I was thinking about this word. How do you unclean a room? Yeah, you could be throwing dirt around, but it wouldn’t make much sense…

How do you unclean a room?

Maybe… it’s because you postpone cleaning it?

This is the strangest yet best metaphor I can use to describe a comfort zone, and why it’s such a bad thing. Trust me, I am a master of comfort zones. Professional procrastinator. Olympic Netflix Marathoner.

I used to watch so many episodes from a tv series, so many movies, listen to music, until I could get anxious just watching them. I couldn’t stand still. It felt as if I was wasting my life, wishing it away by never having the guts to do what I wanted to do. Imagine what happened when I found myself in front of another human being…

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