Pearls with that Whine

I’ve been inspired to write about situations in my life that have given me an attitude adjustment.  I’m sure you have heard that saying of  “you learn something new everyday”.  On a daily basis I’m finding  little lessons hidden behind my whining and moaning about nonsensical things such as not being able to see close up because I am getting older and that’s what happens to people of a certain age.  I am learning to be able to laugh at myself and have fun in this simple life.

A few months ago I started this Blog “Pearls of Wisdom from Daily Living”.  The Blog itself is a writing exercise for me to share the daily pearls that I am finding.  I started this whole writing journey because my sister urged me to find a creative outlet.  She mentioned writing but honestly I always felt that she was the writer in the family.  She truly has a special artistic talent, not just in writing but in photography, art, painting, scrapbooking and so on.  I eventually took her advice and started writing a little at a time.

My writing came in the form of essays but I didn’t realize it at the time.  I was just writing what I called a paper that described a personal situation and the journey of getting from a debacle to a resolution or noticing little hints of wisdom in my days.  Somewhere along the line I started taking it more seriously and I found that throughout my day things would pop into my head and I wanted to write about it.

Honestly, I don’t know what prompted me to continue to look further into actually becoming a writer but it seems that things would come up on Facebook or Television that inspired me to investigate this writer business.  One day I even decided to contact a publisher.  Let me tell you, I was so scared by that conversation because I was doubting myself big time.  All these thoughts were hitting me like , “This isn’t real. You are not a writer and why are you contacting a publisher.”  I was not about to consider that I could become an Author.

The publishing house that I had contacted took every opportunity to call me.  They kept calling and asking where I was on my writing journey and they had me all hyped up about becoming an Author.  Then I realized that they were trying to sell me a package.  They were just a sales team trying to sign me up and move on to the next self-doubting person.  But, when I finally figured out what was happening I contacted the publishing house and told my representative that I no longer wanted to hear from them.  It was one of those “don’t call us, we’ll call you ” situations.  Before I hung up from that conversation the sales person mentioned a guided writing group  and she gave me the website to contact.  That changed everything.

The site is called The Author Learning Center.  I checked it out on the internet and it was real and had nothing to do with the publishing house.

At that time I was doing a lot of meditation and self-help spiritual work.  I still do.  A door had opened for me and I took a leap of faith and joined that Author Learning Center.  It was the first investment I actually made toward becoming an Author.  I am very conservative when it comes to paying for something I know nothing about but it felt right and I am so happy that I jumped into that wide open door.

I am now in the process of writing my book with the title:  “Pearls with that Whine” Every day comes with challenges but underneath those challenges are little pearls of wisdom just waiting for us to find.

In my book there are all different kinds of situations that have occurred in my life right down to the silliness of everyday living.  You can see an example of one of my essays in the Blog post called “Red Death”.   There’s a lot of laughter, wisdom, sadness and celebration included.  All of the things each of us experience every day of our lives.

I want to reach out to everyone and share the fact that underneath the daily grind of life there is that tiny pearl that helps us to grow, evolve and become a better version of our true selves.

The tide of life is forever changing but when it goes out it leaves behind pearls of wisdom.

 

Moment Living

I’ve been so busy lately that I haven’t had time to sit down and write.  Well, that’s not really true because as humans we tend to make time for things that we actually want to do.  I guess I was just hoping that some miraculous words would come to mind and I would throw them on paper and boom, a blog post would be born.  That’s not how it works, Ever!  Usually I sit down and just start writing and the subject kind of pops up on its own but it doesn’t mean that I don’t have to sit and focus and actually write.  Let’s face it, it’s not going to write itself.

The truth is that I have been busy.  My puppy of 5 months old had been very sick last week and I was up for three nights in a row with him as he threw up constantly.  Between Vet visits and taking care of him, I was busy.  But at the same time, he was very tired and so he would nap during the day and it was at those times that I could have sat down to write but I just didn’t feel like it.  There it is; I just didn’t feel like it truth be told.

Today, I had an ache in my heart to just sit and write something.  I was never that person who liked to write.  I hated English class and I didn’t feel like I was very good at it.

In the last 8 years or so I have been on a journey of growth, both spiritually and emotionally.  Throughout this time I have realized that I do have things to share with others.  I may not have the talent of showering flowery words around but I have important things to say, lessons that I’ve learned on a daily basis.  I have finally realized that my life and my journey deserve to be shared if there is any value in the things I’ve learned along the way.

Sometimes things don’t have to be profound in order to be valuable.  I find that in each day as I clean the house or walk the dog, I can stumble upon some pretty good stuff to talk about and share.  For instance, last week was vacation week for my little family which consists of my boyfriend and his daughter and I.  My boyfriend only gets one week vacation a year so we try to make it count.  We don’t have the means to go on lavish vacations but still we make the most of what we can do.

We live by the bay so we got up early and went fishing and crabbing on two occasions.  You might think that waking up at 5 am on a vacation is not much fun but what we get for our efforts is the gift of watching the sun rise, minute by minute, the smell of the sea water, the anticipation of what we will catch and the fun of watching the lunes diving under the water and wondering where they will surface again.  When we finish for the morning, everything is quiet, there are no seagulls around but the minute you start to throw out your old bait into the water they all come flocking down from out of nowhere.  It’s so cool because I just don’t know where they were watching from but they don’t miss a trick.

One morning we went to the beach, early again because we are our best in the morning, open, free and fresh with energy to take in the joys of the day.  We took out the boogie boards and swam in the fresh and clean ocean.  The dolphins were frolicking in the foam and they never cease to bring us the joy of the freedom they are living.  On occasion we like to pick up McDonald’s and take our food down to the dock of the bay and just sit and watch the boats and the people while we eat our breakfast.  We ate take out most days of our vacation which is truly a vacation for me since I don’t have a very receptive family when it comes to trying new foods and our meals can become quite boring.  One afternoon we went and got ice cream cones which is something we never do.

Despite the dog being sick for the last three days of our vacation we were able to enjoy the little things in life that matter most.  Just being together and doing simple things,  we enjoyed each other’s company with the peace that we should feel in each day of our lives.  So, why do we live in the moment for one week a year and not everyday of the year?

Life should be about substance.  It should be experienced through its simplicity.  True living gives us something so deep and pure but we only allow it for one week a year.  It’s time to change the  paradigm of this way of thinking.  Balance is what we need.  We all need money to survive and work is what we do to fulfill that necessity but if that’s all we do, what is it good for?

Freedom, peace, joy and caring for one another should be experiences we feel everyday.  Life is just too short to only allow ourselves one week of something that is so innate in us.  Our true calling is being set aside so we can pay the bills.  What a sad state of affairs!

Please share with me how you find time to live in the moment of each day.  I find great peace watching and hearing how others live life to the fullest even though they have to work like everyone else.  It gives me such inspiration and I’m sure others would love to feel inspired also.

Rewriting Labels

I am reblogging this post because I have found so much value in it pertaining to autism. I know that there are those family members and friends who may be able to benefit from this post. With Love, Mary

thesecretblind

He passed. There was never a doubt in my mind that he would fail, but he can now prove the doubters wrong. The teachers that withheld the work from him that he was desperately seeking, were wrong. The people who saw his labels before they saw him, were wrong. It was hard to watch as everything about him was always so right.

When my son was given the diagnosis of Autism at aged 6, it was no shock to me. I always knew from early on that he was developing differently than most children and saw the world through alternative eyes. Where many would have said he ‘lacked’ in many areas, I saw far more gains in his life that this diagnosis had brought.

He gathered information around him at lightening speed and his memory was astounding and never failed. He never had to rehearse things as once he experienced…

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What does Vanilla got to do with it?

The other day I wanted to try a new recipe.  I had gathered all the ingredients over a few days time.  I went to get the vanilla extract out of the spice cabinet.  There was none to be found.  I took every single spice out of that cabinet and nothing.   I found peppermint extract, gravy master, chicken boullion cubes and red pepper flakes, (talk about something I will never use), but no vanilla.  I asked myself, outloud mind you, “What kind of household doesn’t have vanilla in their cabinet?”  I couldn’t believe that a mainstay of every household was not in mine.

When I was a kid we were kind of poor just like everybody else at the time.  It wasn’t like today where you have snacks laying around waiting for the whim of temptation to consume them.  If we wanted a treat we had to check the fridge and the cabinets to figure out what we could do with what we had.  My brother liked to bake,  so one of the things he would make was sugar cookies.  Sugar was always a staple in every household, then and now, or at least it should be.  Yes, sugar, flour, eggs, bread, butter, milk, potatoes, vanilla were all staples because you could make anything out of them including easy to stretch meals for hungry, large families.  For example, homemade bread, egg noodles, french toast, scrambled eggs and toast etc… .  By the way there was no distinction between what was breakfast food, lunch or dinner.  If you could put it together , that was the meal.  There were occasions when we wanted something sweet so we would butter a piece of bread and sprinkle sugar over it.  We used what we had and we never went hungry.

I am a 57 year old woman and have maintained a household for most of my life.  The necessities of the kitchen have always been maintained.  It’s a matter of survival in my mind.  You’ve got to have the staples and you will never starve.  Creativity will always win out over starvation.  So now I ask you and myself, “Why don’t I have vanilla in my cabinet?”  It’s a travesty if I say so myself.  It’s like a carpenter not having his tool belt with him at work.  Am I making this dramatic enough for you?

As I am going off the deep end here about the absence of vanilla in my cabinet, I realize that the true subject here is tools.  We need our tools to complete tasks.  Each job a person does requires certain tools such as pen and paper for a writer , clay for a potter, a stethoscope for a Nurse, paint brushes for an artist,  staple ingredients for a baker, and the list goes on and on.

There are different kinds of tools for other facets of our lives too.  We are not just physical beings who need to complete tasks in order to live.  We are spiritual beings and we need tools to nurture our spirituality on a daily basis.  These tools can include meditation and prayer.  Our physical bodies need tools such as exercise and healthy eating habits in order for us to function properly.  Our emotional well being requires other tools.  Peace and quiet, laughter, fun and excitement can all fulfill our mind’s needs.  The tools that I have mentioned are required to live a full and purposeful life.  They are the staples of a well rounded human being.  When we have the right means available to us we are able to grow and learn and have purpose on such a grand scale.  These intangible tools give us coping skills, the ability to love and share and truly make the world a better place.

As much as I have dramatized the absence of vanilla extract in my kitchen, there are unfathomable benefits to having all the tools we need in our everyday living.  I have rectified the absence of vanilla in my cabinet and I intend to rectify any other absence of important tools that I need in every area of my life.  It’s a process.  But by being aware of the fact that I  need to fill empty spaces on my journey of life, I can search deep inside myself and find tools that I never knew I had and if I don’t have the tools necessary, I will research and nurture a growing knowledge until I find what I need to complete this task of living life to the fullest.

I have the recipe.  The ingredients are all gathered and I am ready to proceed forward in creating the best product that I can produce.  What have you got baking today?

 

Alert from the Emergency Broadcast System

It poured this morning.  I think we must have gotten about 4 inches of rain.  I even got one of those severe weather alerts on my cellphone.  You know the kind I’m talking about, the screaming beep, beep, beep that scares the life right out of you.  I know they are meant to alert us of danger but I think it’s pretty dangerous to nearly give me a heart attack too.  I think the alert should say something like, “Danger Will Robinson, Danger”.  That reference is for those of us over 50 who remember the show “Lost in Space”.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we got an alert on our cellphones everytime we were about to make a stupid mistake?  Now that is a cause I should take up with the Federal Communications Commission.  It would be a world changer.  Everytime something stupid would come to mind I would have a five second delay and a red flashing light to stop me in my tracks and stop the stupidity from spilling out.

Imagine what it could to the workplace.  We might even begin to enjoy our work if everyone was on red alert before they rained on someone’s parade.  I have a friend who tends to make less than good decisions on impulse (I am trying to be nice).  When he runs this stuff by me I tell him “Red Flag, Red Flag.”  I’m his red flag person.  While my attempt is well intended it’s either not welcome or not glaring enough to change his mind but I tried.

Life doesn’t work this way though, not in the literal sense I’ve described.  There are warnings and red flags that come with everything we say and do but we don’t always choose to recognize them.  Often we blurt out our ideas without regard to who we could be hurting.  But it’s not always about hurting someone.  Sometimes our opinions are not welcomed by others.  Here in the United States of America we do have the right to voice our opinion, that is, at the last time I checked.

While voicing your opinion you open up the door for those who agree and those who boisterously disagree.  Many times arguments ensue.  If we had that Blaring alert system to slow down the impulsive, “I am right and you are wrong” thinking, we might be able to learn a thing or two by looking at a situation from both sides.  Why does everything have to come down to the fact that someone has to be right and someone has to be wrong?  The only thing this way of thinking does is cause division.  Division  among families, co-workers, spouses and government officials.  I think the greatest danger here is division.  Did you ever hear the statement, “divide and conquer”?  Red Flag That!

Family Conflict

Dear Reader,

I have been in a family struggle that is very disturbing.  Feelings have been hurt and misunderstandings have exploded on many levels.  I feel that I should know better than to engage in the drama surrounding me.  But, I did engage in it and I have hurt my sibling.  We siblings have been in the same situation before and I thought we grew enough to never allow things to come between us again.  After losing our sister it felt like we came to a new appreciation for each other.

Do you have thoughts on the subject?  Have you had conflicts within your family?  How have you been able to solve these situations?  Or, do you continue to not talk to your family member because they were wrong and you were right?  Please share your thoughts and ideas with me.

One thing I have learned on my journey is that being right is not always the best result to strive fore.  I always try to strive for peace.  But the conundrum that I face is that I don’t think this dissention is really a situation of right or wrong.  I guess the issue is that at times we make judgments of the actions of others without knowing all the facts and viewpoints of the other parties involved.

Do you ever get aggravated with a family member because you don’tlike the way they respond to situations?  Would you feel comfortable enough to ask that person why they are so aggravated with you?

It’s difficult to deal with the awful feeling deep in my gut when the family is not getting along.  I absolutely hate it.  It makes me sick to my stomach.  All I want is peace.  I love all my siblings and I don’t want anyone to feel hurt or sad.

Please answer me this question:  How do you deal with a situation when the hurt family member will not speak to you and you want to make it right?

I wanted to have this issue resolved right away but my sibling was not ready to have the discussion yet.  I wanted to just air it out and let the healing begin.

Would you rather air it out or just hold it in and allow time to swallow up your relationship?

I guess I will have to lean upon the lessons that I’ve gotten through my journey of life.  I know I have the tools to work this out.  I believe I just need to focus and allow things to settle down on their own for now.

My dear reader, I know I have asked you a lot of questions and I am hoping that you are able to come up with some answers to this very important issue.  I think that we all have the same kinds of conflicts in our lives and it is always a great way to learn when we can look deep into ourselves and find the real truth even if is unflattering to our own selves.  Conflict resolution is a great skill to have but when it involves loved ones the emotions can cloud our vision and steal our peace away.  I have found that if we decide to talk to other family members about the situation it only makes things worse.  The situation then becomes a division of us vs. them.  One small situation can snowball pretty fast into an unstoppable  and unfixable problem.  It can sever our family to the core if we allow it.

For myself, I will have to be still, meditate and pray for the grace to be patient and open to healing this situation.

I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for listening and helping me work through this glitch in my journey.  I appreciate your honesty when it comes to all the questions I have asked.

Sincerely,

Mary

My Church

I took a walk early yesterday morning with my puppy of 4 1/2 months.  We have a beautiful trail in our town that moseys through one town after the other.  Although I live near the beach, my heart has always been inspired by the forest.

As I entered the trail it was like walking into a church.  All of the trees and vines are in full bloom and together they create a canopy above making me feel like I am walking on Holy ground.  The coolness of the shade is welcomed and refreshing.  The scents that reach me are uplifting to say the least.  The sweetness of honeysuckle refreshes me.  The coolness and smell of damp earth makes me feel alive.  They transform my soul to a higher vibration.

As I walk through and into this magic kingdom I feel one with the trees and closer to God.  There’s so much life and wisdom here.  I just have to breathe and listen to  the soft breeze and the story she is telling me.

I hadn’t walked on this trail for some time,  and now being back with her, I feel such a sense of peace and tranquility and realize how much I missed my inspirational companion.

Today I am grateful for the uplifting spirituality that comes to me as I walk on this trail.  I have found a blessing that is priceless.  Nature doesn’t cost me a thing but gives me so much love and power.

I pray that you have a special place of peace and serenity at your beck and call.  A place to go to when you need calmness and love.  Love and wisdom are surrounding us in the humblest of places.  With hearts and minds open we can be transformed in nature and share that transformation with others.

Life is good and we need to remind each other how blessed we are to be alive.  We have to see that the world is a wonderful place and that most people are good.  We all just want to love and be loved.  That’s what I get out of my “church” as I walk along her path.

It is my responsibility to share this goodness with everyone.  Eventually, we will see that there are so many others experiencing the same thing and that we are not so very different.  Love is Love.