The Motherless Children

I am a woman in her late 50’s and a mother of three grown kids.  I have 6 beautiful grandchildren, one of which is in college, 3 are in high school, 1 in kindergarten and 1 in pre-school. I’m a mom and a gramom.  But, I am also a daughter.  I speak to my mom every day on the phone. We laugh, we share our day, we talk about everything in between whether good, bad or indifferent.  My mom is my best friend and when I interact with her, I feel like a little girl.  When I am sick, I call her for comfort.  When I am sad, I  cry to her.  She is my mom and I am her child.

It’s curious that I can be a child while being a gramom at the same time. I have the same relationship with my daughter as I do with my mom.  As her mother, She can call me and cry, laugh, tell me about her day and share her heart with me.  Yet, at the end of the day when I call my mom, there I am, the child again.

The blessings of a mother keep us going for a lifetime.  She is the person who has cradled you in her arms for your whole life.  She is the air that you breathe and the heart that keeps you balanced.  A mother is the core of who we are.  She defines us from birth until death.  Our relationship with our mothers’ teaches us about living.  We can choose to like or dislike our mother.  But the bond between mother and child is extraordinary.

But, time marches on.  At this time in my life, it is becoming the natural cycle to see mothers leaving their earthly bodies and moving on.  It is the natural order of things but in my mind it is unacceptable. Intellectually, I know that this is the cycle of life but my heart does not want to accept it.  As I watch my friends lose their moms, the reality is setting in that time is moving on for my mother and her day will come too.  After all, we all will eventually leave this earth.  My heart aches from this concept that I could be a child without a mom.  The grown woman that I am is the child.  My friends are the children.  How does one come to terms with losing the most instrumental person in one’s life?

By sharing your life with your mother with no regret.  Intimately sharing your love, joy, and gratefulness with this woman who cannot be replaced or replicated. Taking each moment to recognize the essence of this person who has raised you through hard times and good times.  Acknowledging that she is a person who once was the child.  She lived through triumphs and struggles and became your mainstay.  Seeing love through your mother’s eyes.

For all of you, my friends, who have had to say goodbye to your mother, my heart aches for your pain.  I pray for comfort in the depths of your heart.  As of yet, I cannot completely understand how you feel because I still have the blessing of my mother’s presence on this earth.  I hold each and every one of you in my thoughts and prayers always.  Hold on tight and know that your mom’s spirit continues to thrive in the breezes, the rain, the sunshine, and the falling leaves.  Love never leaves us.  From my heart to yours, always and forever.

Vessel

This Vessel

This Holy Temple

Nourish it well

Breathe in the fresh, clean air

Move it and shake it, feel the liveliness

This temporary Vessel

Treat it well

Time and circumstances make it age

The source never ages, never grows old

Time will come to move out of this vessel

On to a different plane

The Holy Spirit lives on

Forever and Always

 

 

 

 

Seasons of the Heart

 

Where I live there are four seasons, winter, spring, summer and fall.  Each has its own uniqueness. The winter comes with a crispness in the air and a feeling of hibernation.  All the trees are bare and the growing season is over.  The spring brings new life and magical beginnings where you thought everything was dead.  The summer brings intense heat and outdoor fun like swimming, barbeques and going to the beach.  Finally, there is the fall where mother nature puts on a beautiful display of colors and the air cools to a comfortable temperature. The joy of a campfire invites us to gather around.

Humans have seasons too.  We live through cycles of ups and downs.  Such is life.  I have found myself in an extended winter.  I haven’t written anything or been inspired by any given creative outlet for quite some time.  I’m feeling a sense of loss and dormancy just like the winter brings.  The effects of this latency seem to be coming to a head lately.  Inside I am feeling lost and alone.

I guess it’s my soul that is crying out for some attention.   My soul has many different needs.  The time that I spend with family leaves me with overwhelming peace and joy in my heart. Yet, I haven’t made the extra effort to visit them.   Meditation leaves me with tranquility.  Still,  I have given my time away to social media and playing games on the computer. Nature is my church.  When I am in the forest, I feel closest to God.  My soul yearns for this kind of nurturing.  As John Denver wrote, “… to the wild country I belong.”  Somehow, I haven’t given myself permission to go to the wild country.

As I recognize this, I do realize that I have had so much enjoyment in my environment and with the people I love.  Another thing I have relished is quiet time alone which gives me a sense of stability, a feeling of gratification to be with myself. I do have much to be thankful for.

Now it is time for me to come out of my winter season and move forward with strength, love and an open heart.  It’s time for my growing season to begin.  I will take the lessons of my winter and feed my soul the nourishment it needs.  No matter the hardships or sadness that surrounds me, I will see love.  I will feel the consciousness of the summer breezes and feel their warmth envelope me.  I will open my eyes and see the vibrancy of all the colors of the rainbow that bring such joy to my heart.

As my personal seasons change, I will accept what each has to teach me and grow through the experiences with them all.  I am alive today.  I have breath in me and love to share.

The different seasons have so much to teach us. Winter, spring summer and fall.  Let’s embrace the changes.

 

No Motivation? Read this.

This is a reblog of a post by Be inspired. It has so much value that I just had to share.

Be Inspired..!!

If you’re in desperate need of some motivation, we’re going to fix that problem, right here, right now. Prepare yourself.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. You said you needed motivation. I’m going to do what needs to be done to get your ass in gear. NO EXCUSES. If this isn’t the kind of motivation you need, leave now. You’ve been warned.

Here goes :

  1. Write Down your “Why’s” – Write down all your reason for wanting to achieve whatever it is you are trying to achieve. Be specific and then keep the list somewhere handy to refer to when you are flagging. 
  2. Set Goals – Set long term goals and then spilt them down into monthly goals. Make sure they are specific, realistic and have timescales. Write your goals down. Split them down again into smaller weekly “to-do”lists.
  3. Try the “two minute” rule – Set a timer and then make yourself work on a…

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Heart and soul

A fellow blogger, Cristian Mihai, wrote this blog and it is so powerful that I just had to share.

Cristian Mihai

The only calibration that counts is how much heart people invest, how much they ignore their fears of being hurt or caught out or humiliated. And the only thing people regret is that they didn’t live boldly enough, that they didn’t invest enough heart, didn’t love enough. Nothing else really counts at all. – Ted Hughes

You’re going to die. No, this is not some metaphorical bullshit. You are going to die. They are going to plant you in the ground, and all that you are will decay until there’s nothing left. Your bones will turn to dust and that dust will get carried on through the ages.

Your time on this earth is limited. How do you want to spend it? Think about it. I mean, really think about it.

Lukewarm is no good. Being fearful is not worth it. Worrying about what other people think or say or…

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Ambition..

I am rebloggong this post because I think it’s worth sharing and a good reminder to all of us.

Little Secret's

It’s all about AMBITION! I can’t do it.. I’m too tired, let’s rather leave it for tomorrow.. I’ll start next week.. what difference will it really make..

Haven’t we all used these excuses before?? Well that’s just the problem RIGHT there.. it starts with YOU.. If you aren’t going to lift your butt and START doing stuff, that’s just where it’s going to stay at – STUFF.

One thing I’ve learned is you can day dream all you want.. you can look at other people’s lives all you want.. you can sit in a corner and feel sorry for yourself all you want, but at the end of the day.. you are the person driving your destiny and you are in control of the wheel.. feel that fire burning inside of you.. its getting hotter.. that warm feeling is touching your core.. embrace it… focus… let the fire CONSUME you…

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Its natural to cry if we have suffered trauma

Emerging from the Dark night @darkknight.wordpress.com posted this today and I felt that it should be shared with everyone who is struggling from any kind of trauma.

Emerging From The Dark Night

I picked up a very good book written by an Australian trauma specialist Dr Jeannine Higgins at the book fair in September called Evolve With Trauma : Become Your Own Safe, Compassionate and Wise Friend.  It contains a lot of facts and useful information on being kind to yourself in trauma.  The tendency for trauma survivors is to beat ourselves up and this is despite the fact we have gone through abuse or pain or losses that often were not our fault.  We also meet misunderstanding from those who wonder why we can not just ‘get over’ such deeply painful experiences.   Jeannie explains that we cannot rationalise away trauma or traumatic memories because trauma by its very nature destroys links in the brain between our emotional/memory self and the rational self.

In a brilliant chapter entitled I can’t stop crying.  Am I going mad? she writes.

You are…

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The Sunshine Blogger Award

Thank you to vicklea.com,  Vickie’s Book Nook and Meditation Corner for nominating me for the sunshine blogger award.  I enjoy reading your blog as it shows that you are a woman of true faith.  Your love of God and the Bible have helped many on their journey.

The rules are:

  • Thank the person who nominated you and provide a link back to him/her.
  • Answer the 11 questions provided by the blogger who nominated you.
  • Nominate 11 other bloggers and ask them 11 new questions.
  • Notify the nominees by commenting on one of their blog posts.
  • List the rules and display the Sunshine Blogger Award logo on your post.

The questions for me to answer were:

    Who is your best friend and what do you have in common?
    My best friend’s name is Tammy.  We have everything in common but the most important things are 1) We both love to laugh and have fun 2) We both are real with each other 3) We both are traveling the same spiritual path and we help each other along the way.
    What is your favorite place to go and why?
    My brother’s cabin in the woods.  As John Denver wrote:  “…to the mountains, I can rest there, to the river, I’ll find peace there, to the wild country, I belong.”  It is the most refreshing God experience I could ever have.
    If you watch television, what is your favorite show?
    My guilty pleasure is Married at First Sight
    What is the book that you would recommend that everyone read?
    Walden by Henry David Thoreau
    What is your favorite thing to do on a daily basis?
    Talk to my Mom
    Share an interesting fact about your life.
    I am a survivor of a religious cult.
    What is one word that describes you best? Explain.
    Earthy.  I find peace and tranquility from the most simple things in life such as rocks and trees.  I feel like they have seen many lifetimes worth of experiences and there is wisdom there.
    If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be and why?
    Honestly, I wouldn’t change anything because it’s all those experiences that have brought me to where I sit today and I am pretty happy with who I am now.
    What do you consider to be the priority of your life?
    Live in love in everything that I do.
    Tell us your favorite author and why.
    Henry David Thoreau:  He found the treasures of life in the simplest things.
    What is one thing that you wish everyone knew about you?
    This is the hardest question to answer.  I feel like I am an open book so I think I am pretty easy to read.
    My nominees are fellow bloggers.  I hope you will check out their pages.
    RM Weldon
    Lance Sheridan
    Gail, moonlightreflections
    thesecretblind
    thesunshinethagain
    Patty Richardson
    Roshni Ramanan
    Cristian Mihai
    Just Brian
    Get Your own style
    Barbara Grace Lake
    MS Lucky Duck
    Questions for my Nominees:
    1.  What is your favorite fruit?
    2.  Are you religious or spiritual?
    3.  Name 3 of your favorite things.
    4.  Would you call your eating habits healthy?  Explain
    5. Who would you consider to be your hero?
    6.  What is your favorite book?
    7.  What is your highest level of formal education?
    8.  What part of the world are you from?
    9.  Who in your life has been the most influential?
    10.  Explain one defining moment in your life.
    11.  When overwhelmed, what is your go-to?

 

Enchanting Tapestry

It’s happening.  The magic is happening.  I woke up this morning and stepped outside to feel a cool breeze hit my face and I knew I was stepping into the magical place that I have longed for.

Something has entered my soul and refreshed my spirit.  It seems to have happened overnight.  It wasn’t here yesterday and just like that, it has appeared.  There’s a sense of energy and vitality that comes with it, a letting go and new beginning all at the same time.  I’ve waited for nine months for this miracle to occur and now it has presented itself.

The birth of a new season, in my opinion, the most special of them all.  Bright colors are blazing a trail along the tree line.  As I drive through the mountains I notice trees  that have been kissed by the sun and have burst into glowing beauty.

In this magical hour, there is beauty in letting go.  The trees are willing participants as they share their glory with us and allow their leaves to transform into precious jewels as they move on their journey to another place; a place where they will now become the fertilizer for growth into another astonishing masterpiece.  The ceaseless pattern of life is shared by all living things.

The artistry that nature is sharing can never be duplicated because it is alive and unique, as each  soul has it’s own singularity.  The signature of life only passes through in this manner on one occasion.   The individuality of nature’s journey, including humans, is inestimable.

I celebrate this precious day and the changing of the season.  I feel the fire in my spirit as I welcome this new array of beauty into my being.