Seasons of the Heart

 

Where I live there are four seasons, winter, spring, summer and fall.  Each has its own uniqueness. The winter comes with a crispness in the air and a feeling of hibernation.  All the trees are bare and the growing season is over.  The spring brings new life and magical beginnings where you thought everything was dead.  The summer brings intense heat and outdoor fun like swimming, barbeques and going to the beach.  Finally, there is the fall where mother nature puts on a beautiful display of colors and the air cools to a comfortable temperature. The joy of a campfire invites us to gather around.

Humans have seasons too.  We live through cycles of ups and downs.  Such is life.  I have found myself in an extended winter.  I haven’t written anything or been inspired by any given creative outlet for quite some time.  I’m feeling a sense of loss and dormancy just like the winter brings.  The effects of this latency seem to be coming to a head lately.  Inside I am feeling lost and alone.

I guess it’s my soul that is crying out for some attention.   My soul has many different needs.  The time that I spend with family leaves me with overwhelming peace and joy in my heart. Yet, I haven’t made the extra effort to visit them.   Meditation leaves me with tranquility.  Still,  I have given my time away to social media and playing games on the computer. Nature is my church.  When I am in the forest, I feel closest to God.  My soul yearns for this kind of nurturing.  As John Denver wrote, “… to the wild country I belong.”  Somehow, I haven’t given myself permission to go to the wild country.

As I recognize this, I do realize that I have had so much enjoyment in my environment and with the people I love.  Another thing I have relished is quiet time alone which gives me a sense of stability, a feeling of gratification to be with myself. I do have much to be thankful for.

Now it is time for me to come out of my winter season and move forward with strength, love and an open heart.  It’s time for my growing season to begin.  I will take the lessons of my winter and feed my soul the nourishment it needs.  No matter the hardships or sadness that surrounds me, I will see love.  I will feel the consciousness of the summer breezes and feel their warmth envelope me.  I will open my eyes and see the vibrancy of all the colors of the rainbow that bring such joy to my heart.

As my personal seasons change, I will accept what each has to teach me and grow through the experiences with them all.  I am alive today.  I have breath in me and love to share.

The different seasons have so much to teach us. Winter, spring summer and fall.  Let’s embrace the changes.

 

Hide and Seek

Tired body. Tired mind.

What makes these changes happen?

New season, new beginnings

Where did inspiration run and hide?

Drowning in exhaustive, soul-sucking flutterings of the mind.

No specific logic brings me to this berth.

My distaste for these spells cannot be construed in plausible terms.

I must ride the waves and calmly await the arrival of the moment I seek.

The moment where hidden mysteries of my body and brain become receptive to the musings of creativity and joy.

I sit here underneath the brightly blooming tree and listen for her wisdom and guidance to appear.  She has the answers that I seek and the vitality that I crave.

I know the enthusiasm will return. It will revive my soul as soon as I play hide and seek.

If one seeks, one will find.

 

Despair: There’s a Better Way

 

 

Complacency.

Stuck.  Wandering around aimlessly.

Routine  deadens her inside.  Lack of inspiration and imagination.

Trying to shake it off. Trying to pull herself out of this hole.

What will the catalyst be? The thing that turns it all around.  Where will she look to find it?

Drowning in same old.  Where’s the spark?  The burning desire to catapult her into energy and joy.  Where does she turn, Who does she  turn to?

Sleeping doesn’t give her joy, it only numbs her for a time. She awakens, desensitized of gratefulness to be alive.

She shouts, “Somebody, please show me the way to be happy.  Where are you?”

She’s tired of feeling this way.  She is so damn tired.

She asks, “Where will I find the change that I need?  Where does it come from?  Why don’t I know the answer? ”

Her thoughts are racing . “I cannot help myself.  I need help. I need to find myself.  I need to find love.”

She  closes her eyes,  trying to imagine one thing that makes her smile.

She recalls the feeling of the moonglow on her face and the sense of peace she felt.  Could it be?  Can she bathe in the moonlight tonight?  What will stop her? She knows she can do this.  She can find the energy in herself to do this. This is the night.

Ah, there it is, in all it’s illuminating essence, the glorious moon.  She feels blanketed  in it’s brilliance. Suddenly , she feels protected and empowered.  She has found a new friend.  As she sits and deliberates, she realizes that,  it”s always been there. She acknowledges that she’s  been too locked away inside her grief and torment to notice it.  She feels  such solace from this great ball of light.

Thoughts continue to  whirl around in her mind. “Where does it get this unimaginable power from?  Why am I so effected by it?”

She now visits with the moon each night.  She basks in the serenity it endows her with.  The limited moments that they share are becoming more frequent.

She finds herself enlivened and hopeful.  As she considers their relationship, they’ve become entwined in peace and she searches for it’s source of  power.

Her questions continue:  “What makes it radiate this compelling energy? She sits in deep contemplation and ponders the answer. Her observations show her a better way. “When I sit with it I feel this astounding sense of love.  As we visit with each other more and more and the tremendous love enlightens me, I realize that we share the same source.  Love is the source in it and in me.  The power of the universe lies within all of us.  The source is unconditional love.”

 

The spark that she’s been searching for is unconditional love and it resides within her and the moon and the stars and all things that radiate energy.

She cries, ” I am alive. I am grateful.  I feel joy for the first time in so many years.  I have the source within me.  I am powerful and courageous and full of energy.  If the moon and I share the same source than who am I to question if I am worthy of love.

I am love.  I am filled with the same incandescance as it. Here I am.  Worthy, Conscious, Alive and Grateful for this air that fills my lungs and allows me to share the most precious gift that my friend from above has shared with me.  I am awake now.”