Family Conflict

Dear Reader,

I have been in a family struggle that is very disturbing.  Feelings have been hurt and misunderstandings have exploded on many levels.  I feel that I should know better than to engage in the drama surrounding me.  But, I did engage in it and I have hurt my sibling.  We siblings have been in the same situation before and I thought we grew enough to never allow things to come between us again.  After losing our sister it felt like we came to a new appreciation for each other.

Do you have thoughts on the subject?  Have you had conflicts within your family?  How have you been able to solve these situations?  Or, do you continue to not talk to your family member because they were wrong and you were right?  Please share your thoughts and ideas with me.

One thing I have learned on my journey is that being right is not always the best result to strive fore.  I always try to strive for peace.  But the conundrum that I face is that I don’t think this dissention is really a situation of right or wrong.  I guess the issue is that at times we make judgments of the actions of others without knowing all the facts and viewpoints of the other parties involved.

Do you ever get aggravated with a family member because you don’tlike the way they respond to situations?  Would you feel comfortable enough to ask that person why they are so aggravated with you?

It’s difficult to deal with the awful feeling deep in my gut when the family is not getting along.  I absolutely hate it.  It makes me sick to my stomach.  All I want is peace.  I love all my siblings and I don’t want anyone to feel hurt or sad.

Please answer me this question:  How do you deal with a situation when the hurt family member will not speak to you and you want to make it right?

I wanted to have this issue resolved right away but my sibling was not ready to have the discussion yet.  I wanted to just air it out and let the healing begin.

Would you rather air it out or just hold it in and allow time to swallow up your relationship?

I guess I will have to lean upon the lessons that I’ve gotten through my journey of life.  I know I have the tools to work this out.  I believe I just need to focus and allow things to settle down on their own for now.

My dear reader, I know I have asked you a lot of questions and I am hoping that you are able to come up with some answers to this very important issue.  I think that we all have the same kinds of conflicts in our lives and it is always a great way to learn when we can look deep into ourselves and find the real truth even if is unflattering to our own selves.  Conflict resolution is a great skill to have but when it involves loved ones the emotions can cloud our vision and steal our peace away.  I have found that if we decide to talk to other family members about the situation it only makes things worse.  The situation then becomes a division of us vs. them.  One small situation can snowball pretty fast into an unstoppable  and unfixable problem.  It can sever our family to the core if we allow it.

For myself, I will have to be still, meditate and pray for the grace to be patient and open to healing this situation.

I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for listening and helping me work through this glitch in my journey.  I appreciate your honesty when it comes to all the questions I have asked.

Sincerely,

Mary

Published by

Mary Mangee

I have lived a life and learned many things along the way. Through my daily experiences I want to share the little lessons I have picked up and share them with you. Maybe you can find some pearls of wisdom in your day too.

2 thoughts on “Family Conflict”

  1. Family will always be family, and not everyone in a family will get along. Each person in a family has different “perceptions” of events, views, beliefs, and ways of doing things. You are not alone as there are millions of people out there who go through unresolved issues that seem to last a lifetime.

    Sisters tend to “compare” themselves with one another, and build jealousies that are often unwarranted. I know this is so with my oldest sister. There is only one unresolved issue between us, the rest I simply chalk up to my sister just being my sister.

    I left home when I ran away at 16 and was shunned by my whole family when I gathered the courage to come back and tell them about my stepfather abusing me. My sister refused to back me up and never spoke of it to anyone out of fear of reprisal. I understood. Sadly she is plagued with lymphoma now, but repression of emotions have a way of manifesting in the physical body over time and in its own way.

    I have found that honesty is always best, and there is nothing wrong with speaking our own Truth despite what others think. They are going to think what they want anyway and we just have to expect that. Sometimes, we are blessed with the opportunity to clarify our stance on certain issues with each other, sometimes we are not given that chance.

    I have found it wise to share how and why I feel the way I do so they can get a grip on why I think of a situation the way I do. It always seems to open the door for them to share the same. I find that we get a deeper understanding of the person and their reasoning that creates a different point of view than our own.

    Understanding also leads to compassion. We learn then that there is no need to try and change their opinion, sometimes all we need to do is just respect it – and let them know that. It eases the tension, the angst, and pending bitterness that could brew if left unresolved.

    Give it time. Then write a letter. Sometimes sharing your thoughts on paper comes out more clearly.

    May your day be blessed.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks for you insight Renee. I am happy to say that this particular situation has been lovingly resolved within my family. The conflict resolution tools that I have learned along the way helped to move through this situation and build an even stronger bond between siblings.

    Like

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